ATM characters

Yesterday I was at an ATM. I was 10 persons away from my turn. Following is a small account of all the people I saw there.

The Robber-Face : Sorry, but your face looks like a robber determined to rob the bank tonight. You especially turn up at the ATM in the night when there is no one around, alight your bike, helmet clad, with your probable-accomplice-in-crime as the pillion rider. You walk right in the ATM, still helmet clad. I understand that it’s a hassle to remove the helmet for a 2 mins, 100 rs withdrawing exercise, but do you even know that there is a small camera-eye looking at you behind the ATM ? Well, forget it, I just pray that even if you are a robber, just rob the bank and spare me !

The Over Cautious : You are so cautious that you ponder on each choice the machine presents you with, for 2 mins just to be right, lest you fuck up and end up withdrawing 200 instead of 100 ! Frankly, how does it even matter especially when there are 10 ppl outside waiting for you to get your butt out ? ! Also, you are the ones who count your money 2 times to be sure of the amount. Please understand that there is one in a million chance that the machine will be wrong. And one in a million chance, the unfortunate will be you ! Lastly, please stop pressing the “Stop” and “Cancel” on the ATM. What are you thinking ? You have the money and you can still cancel the transaction ? You must be a negative IQ !

The Sneaky ones : Please, there are just 10 “desparate” ppl in the line. And you will probably be caught trying to sneak in. And then you make up the sorry excuse – “I am getting late for blah blah”. Dude, who isn’t ? !

The Women : Ladies, trust me, ATMs are not for you. You will probably take the same time to withdraw money from the branch. You have to make sure that the saree/dupatta doesn’t fall off, You have to make sure that you don’t lose the line with whoever it is on the phone, all the time you do the transaction! You have to make sure you do e’thing the “over cautious” one does. You have to put the money in the purse BEFORE you come out of the ATM. You have to … forget it, this place is too small to discuss all that !

The Teachers : I understand that your bittu needs to learn to operate the ATM. But please, he is just 4 years old ! He probably cannot distinguish between a 500 rupee note and a toilet paper!

The Simpletons: You try out all possible ways of inserting the card in and then ask me for help. Then I have to explain to you why a pin-code is something you need to keep a secret and “remember” !

The Guard : Where are you ? Oh there you are … in the AC, sleeping in the night at 2 am ! Dude, even I don’t sleep in an AC !